emotional health / Health / lifestyle / middle-age female / Self-help / Style

A Cease and Desist Order for 50 Somethings

1). Stop wearing stilettos unless you are capable of walking as gracefully after lunch as you are when you first put them on in the morning. A 50-something colleague of mine walks like a drunk after half a day in her designer footwear. Clearly not comfortable. Certainly not attractive.

2). Stop stuffing yourself into clothes that are a size you wore in your twenties. A sausage is only attractive on a plate accompanied by eggs or pasta.

3). Stop eating crap..Junk food is called junk for a reason.

4). Stop faking approval or happiness. On the other hand, refrain from unnecessary cruelty.

5). Stop wearing pajamas outside of your home. While inappropriate at any age over 10, a 50-something in pajamas walking her children into the elementary school is plain ol’ scary.

6). Stop saying, “Kids these days…” Our parents did it and it annoyed the hell out of us. It only serves to solidify your membership into the Crusty Old Farts Hall of Shame. And no one listens to another word these honorees say once they are inducted.

7). Stop ignoring your health. Get your regular checkups. Recognize and honor your symptoms and get help quickly.

8). Stop procrastinating. Procrastination leads to a sedentary lifestyle, and none of us have time for that. We’re fifty for God’s sake. We need to seize the day!

9). Stop sitting in front of your television. It leads to procrastination ( see no. 8), and it keeps you from getting out of your pajamas (see no. 5).

10). Stop saying “someone should do this or that.” Get out and do it yourself! Nothing makes you more irrelevant than moaning about something you could be doing and someone who is trying their best to do it already. Shut up and get to steppin’!

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