For example, today I will give myself a manicure.  I love getting out all the bottles and choosing the perfect hue to match the season or my mood.  It will be a good way to nurture my girly side and I will benefit the entire week.

When we nurture ourselves, we connect with ourselves on a deeper level and are not as prone to running to the refrigerator for comfort.  Indulging our spirits and bodies with nonfood activities is being kind to ourselves.  When we experience kindness, we feel less out of control and are less likely to bury our true feelings under food.

Until next time, find a  way to be good to yourself for at least 15 minutes every day.

I don’t need to ask which hostess you have the most fond memories of.  I already know the answer.  The hostess that is grateful to have family and friends in her home and food and time to share is the most highly regarded and fondly remembered at holiday time.

I have a recent memory of a family member who literally turned around and said aloud, “Had I known the day would be like this, I’d never have agreed to do this.”  And this was before we sat down to eat.  Needless to say, we have never gone back there for a meal.  Not that she has ever invited any family back – she has not.  Oh, we see her once a year, and we exchange holiday cards and gifts, but something was lost with her lack of graciousness and her continued “poor me” view on life.

I have another family member, however, who alternates holiday cooking  with me.  She is a very busy mother of two girls, wife, optometrist, and church member who owns and operates three branches of her optometry practice.  Her chronically ill husband recently lost his job and benefits, but she values cooking one of the holiday meals every year and enjoys having the extended family - from West Virginia to California – in her home.  Oh, we have had to wait while she remembers the rolls that need baking or to make her famous homemade salsa.  But, really…Big deal!  We laugh, we remember Thanksgivings and Christmases past, we play board games, make messes doing crafts with the kids, and leave later than we had planned.  She is grateful we are there and it shows. 

I am the Thanksgiving Queen this year.  I plan to savor the moments, savor the food preparation, and savor the presence of loved ones that I may not be fortunate enough to entertain next year.  I plan to respect my body enough to eat slowly and thoughtfully and to take a walk  with my loved ones after the meal.  Even if it is cold, I can bundle up and take in the view with my family as my neighbors enjoy their time with loved ones. 

And that evening, when I sit down with my teenagers and husband and ask them what they are most grateful for,  I look forward to their answers.   I pray that they remember gratitude makes a gracious hostess (or host) when they are in charge of their own households and holiday celebrations.

Until next time, I hope your Thanksgiving is blessed.  May we all be grateful for what we have and what the future holds.

I have watched her for years and have asked others about her so I could get a piece of the action.  Oh yes, I copy others.  Imitation is the best form of flattery after all.  Isn’t it?

After all of my inquiry and my keen observation of this particular style mentor of mine, I have come to this conclusion.  What seems effortless is actually the result of intense preparation.  She is constantly studying her professional journals and is continuously networking with experts in the field of education.  She surrounds herself with friends that are goal oriented and have  well-established value systems so her day-to-day routines and dealings with others is not out of sync with her internal compass. 

She only buys clothing that reflect her personal style:  Classic with an edge.  She dons a business suit to drive home the serious nature of what she does with the unexpected beautiful white ruffled blouse just peeking out and a glimpse of a few long strands of pearls that are mixed with metals to keep her current.  Hair is chin length, yet feminine.  Shoes are classic pumps with the hip buckle.  She does not have a lot of clothes and accessories – just the right ones that are timeless and easy to adapt for different functions and seasons.  She is in her mid fifties, yet the most youthful person I know.

She travels the state and must be ready to change plans on a dime.  One would think that this makes it impossible for her to have a plan in place.  Quite the contrary.  Her steadfastness to her plans frees her to be able to do what she must to meet the unexpected demands of the people she serves.  When her clothes are clean and classic, her makeup routine simple and in her bag ready to go, her job-related reading and projects up-to-date because she honors herself enough to not procrastinate, and her family’s grocery shopping done in advance and laptop in tow, she is able to pick up and go where she must without causing upheaval in her life.  Her coworkers left behind at the office know the “plan” and continue with it in her absence.  Her family has what they need and thrive because of the well-established routines already in place, while she  fulfills her professional obligations away from home.  And she, herself,  is “together” on the road because she has learned to prepare for the unexpected and now expects it.

This preparation does not happen by accident.  She takes time every week to plan, prepare, and practice.  She plans, taking into consideration all those she loves and for whom she is responsible.  She prepares by reading the latest professional journals and by networking with others in her field.  And she practices her craft by calling others, emailing them, or visiting their offices to pass something new by them.  I have witnessed her reviewing a presentation with her cabinet (she is a high-level state education administrator) prior to a major state meeting, asking for honest feedback – and getting it.  Needless to say, the actual presentation is always fabulous.

So, I have incorporated the 3 P’s in my life.  Oh, I back-slide and have to research, pray, and just make myself “do it”, many times over.  But it gets easier with practice.  And I am worth the peace it brings when it all comes together.  With that peace I get a fulfillment food and drink cannot, even temporarily,  give me.  My addiction becomes a little less powerful everyday I honor myself with my planning, preparation ,and practice.

I am on a very strict budget.  I got myself into credit card debt trying to keep up with the Joneses (or my idea of the Joneses – seems the Jones family was only a figment of my imagination).  I wear “spring” pants in the winter and “fall” clothing in the spring.  I can’t see spending money on additional cold weather items when I can use other, less expensive, seasonal items such as scarves, turtle necks, tights, and “color.”   I adjust using inexpensive t-shirts and tanks in the spring.   Seasonal shoes are another way to extend an outfit.  Suede shoes are a cold weather staple and open-toed sandals indicate warmer weather.

The key to mixing these pieces with style is planning - planning my wardrobe for every day of the week.  Yes, even Saturdays and Sundays.   If I didn’t plan EVERY piece I wear, then mixing items from different seasons would  look tacky at best.  I mean down to jewelry and undergarments. 

The biggest payoff to planning my wardrobe is looking polished and pulled together no matter how busy my morning has been or if my alarm didn’t work. 

Another payoff?  I am not looking in my closet for ten minutes trying to get an outfit to get my through the day and wasting precious time.  When I used to do this, I would get frustrated and then panic because I was always running late.  What would happen then is something I am not proud of.  I would take my frustration out on my family, and the morning would turn into a shouting match.  Not the way I want to send my family to work and school.  I have found this hard to reconcile about myself. 

It’s Sunday.  My planning day.  I will sit down and plan every outfit I am wearing this week.  For some days, I will need to plan an outfit that can take me through functions with different dress codes (take off the blazer and knot the scarf differently, for example).  For other days, one outfit will suffice.  The key is planning ahead and knowing ahead so I am not stressed to the max.  Undergarments and jewelry are very important.  Does that pair of brown tights work with those low- waisted wool pants, or will it make me bulge over the top of the waistband?  Does that necklace compete with the ornamentation already on that sweater?  Planning this today will make all the difference on that morning when my daughter forgot she needs her cheer fundraising papers filled out and turned in that day or my son tells me his basketball coach decided to call an impromptu practice right after school and his practice jersey needs washed before I leave for work.

It all comes together when I plan.  

Until next time… consider setting some time aside for yourself to make yours and your family’s life better?

Now, not too long ago, I would have scoured the pantry and the refrigerator for something to stop the hunger pangs.  It would have been something calorie laden, fast, and overall not very satisfying.  I would have been hungry an hour later, and the guilt from the poor health habits would make me want to give up and give in to all my cravings.  “I’ll start tomorrow”‘, I’d think to myself.  And the feeding frenzy would begin.  As would the stuffing of the feelings under ALL THAT FOOD And lack of attention to self.

After attending numerous Weight Watchers meetings, Franklin Covey planning seminars, professional trainings, and masses, I know that all successful people in diets, the workplace, and spirituality, have a plan – a blueprint – a goal.  And it is prominent in their lives.  It drives all their other decisions.   As does my plan – a plan that consists of prioritized lists.

All of my family’s breakfasts, lunches, and dinners are planned two weeks in advance.  After I plan our meals, I prepare the grocery list.  And, yes, I shop for two weeks at a time, from paycheck to paycheck.  I used to get to the end of my paycheck and still have more days left  – and not enough food to make healthy meals for my family.  Oh, we made due, but it was depressing.  Especially considering what I had spent my money on:  clothes we didn’t need, eating out on a whim, hotel stays just for the heck of it.  Now, I buy the food first.  The money I still have left at the end of my paycheck now is amazing to me.  I can pay my bills, eat satisfying, healthy meals, and still have a little left over for recreation.

I am equally as pleased with my weekly wardrobe planning.  Wait ’til I tell you about how I never worry about what I am going to wear and whether or not it is stylish and appropriate.

Until then, remember – Lists are stylish.

I am in a good place due to all the plans and the follow-through.  I am thirty pounds thinner now than I was two years ago.  I have clean, fashionable clothes “at the ready” all of the time, and I have three well-planned and meticulously prepared meals a day (even my brown-bag lunch).  And I am paying off my debts, while saving for retirement and college tuition for my two teenagers.

It has taken a long time for me to get to this place.  A place of conviction.  A place where my needs are important and my family benefits from my insistence upon this fact.  A place where my plans give me freedom to explore.  The old adage that “Failing to plan is planning to fail”  has certainly proven true for me in the past.

I was not always in this good place.  Years of  procrastination, self-deprivation, and ignoring the warning signs have led me here.  And I backslide sometimes.  But I always have my plans to fall back upon.  Whew!

Hello World!  I am looking forward to meeting you all and getting to know myself even better along the way.